Junkie Food (...)

FIlm-O-Pinions: Paul Blart: Mall Cop

BOOOOOOO!!!

(based on first 15 minutes)

FIlm-O-Pinions: Observe and Report

Punk rock BRO

Good pump up movie, like Rocky for nerds. Respect to the constant physical damage and the soundtrack. Also Aziz is (bored, HA!) Hilarious and Chik-Fil-A is delicious. Also the opening montage gives me chills.

My opinion: See it, lil drunk, mosh pit

Next up: Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Summer Classes at NYU start monday

Can’t wait to contemplate going to class or getting high (or most likely, both)

Film-O-Pinions: Paid in full

Respect.

Powerful Edgy and Intense Indeed

Film-O-pinions: Jerry Maguire

Really really good solid film. Probably the most wholesome R-rated movie ever made. I imagine them showing this on Thanksgiving ever year as a staple (on TNT or NBC). It just so damn touching, and to its advantage, familiar. The idea of the intense aphla-male Agent running the airports and stadiums of America, creating his own little quirkly moments for press, vying for the financial relevance of his hotshot Wide Reciever (played by Cuba Gooding Jr. In a role that makes me wonder why I ever had hate for the dude, Oh wait

is one that I feel like I played in my head before, like when watching the 12-hour loop on ESPN anytime TO gets traded. This Story (love-cute-triangle with Renee Zelwegger and the cute big-headed kid with glasees) is formulaic like a Scorsesse movie is violent. There is even a strong black woman at the heart (of this film), and an old wise dude with glasses at the brain (in flashback!). And yet these hackneyed qualities make the film that much sweeter because they’re real.

Roger ebert said “a film is not what its about, but how it is about it.” This is like that. It is literally a  feel-good movie (got goosebumps bout 8 times, tears throughout the third act), you feel like  a better person at the end of the viewing. And that could be because  of the sheer relatability. There’s something and someone for  everyone; The Seriously  successful man  who can’t face failure, the cute woman with much love to give, the cute kid, the strong black man who alternates btw winning hearts and being a shit, the Strong black woman behind him, the sleazebag antithesis,  the sad sister, the mentor in the sky, the recurring TV-show host, etc.  every facet of the American Dream is scripted to a T here. And mad catch-phrases!

Bottom line this is a great American film. Cameron Crowe is like the Shel Silverstein of cinema, whimsical, folksy and expansive. His touch is always present but never evident and his films generally exemplify what is good and nice with people. that is a difficult thing to sell as entertainment, but therein lies his talent. The guys got manners.

See it again

Film-O-Pinions: See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Ahhh, it’s funny. Old-school funny, but funny. Richard Pryor is the ultimate dude (take notes) and Gene Wilder’s in it too. That’s Willy Wonka tha DON! He’s pretty tame in this one and so is Pryor kinda, but they’re just so damn cool. its just that kinda film. Buddy Cop type stuff except one of them’s blind and the other one’s Deaf and they ain’t cops.

It’s Cute, see it with your significant other and laugh at NY in the 80’s, with their funny hats, plain T-shirts, and cocaine use (OK there’s no coke use in this movie per se, but you know they were doin it on the set). It’s kinda like Charlie Chaplin meets SNL from the 70’s, It’s like Blue Streak but less ridiclous, It’s like a real life Hey! Arnold if Gerald and Arnold were special ed. and murdered a dude. Good times.

See it (with your lovahh there’s a good 20 mins in there where nothing happens=free makeout time)

Film-O-Pinions: Synecdoche, NY

Wow. Tremendous. Bring your thinking caps and leave your stupid friends at home (unless your watching it at home, in which case tell them to leave). Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a crazy playwright tortured genius-type named Caden, who ignores/mentally fucks his wife and daughter. It’s weird but OK because he’s a good play director. His first show (in the film) is a hit and consequently all the women in the cast want to fuck him. Being a true theatre man, he is uncomfortable with that (but then again there isn’t much that doesn’t discomfort’s him). This sexual confusion leads him to his next, and greatest, production..A meticulous, full-scale rendition of his life and Everything in it! 

Writer/director Charlie Kauffman works overtime here. For those who don’t know, he made/wrote Adaptation and Being John Malkovich and specializes in Mindfuck plots with thick hearts. This film makes sweet love to your mind as opposed to just fucking it. Watching Hoffman play out all the issues in life on stage is baffling and little bit enviable. He simultaineously addresses his life-long mistakes, and ignores them. It’s Cerebral and sensual, witty and realistic, and utterly absurd. For example, late in the film, we actually watch dude sleep with a woman (Emily Morton) who is playing a woman he tried to fuck years earlier (Samantha Morton). There’s tons of great stuff like that in this film. It’s a Must see for any art nerds, film buffs, anyone in an existensial crisis, or people who like good novels.

The music is great, the performances are excellent (Samantha Morton’s real good), great pacing, great lines (especially the last), nice shots, etc. I feel alot smarter right now having seen it and I will see it again.

Definately see it.

Film-O-Pinions: Transformers 2

Really Big and Stupid. So so stupid. Shia LaBouef and Hot mama tha god (Meg Fox) run amouk in college and stuff, have a long distance relationship over ichat, and discuss the idea of “love”. That is the entire human element of this film, and its weak at best (bad at worst). It’s kinda like those disney network live action shows, except aged a decade, still dumb, still cute.

As for the Robots, they were ehhh. Bumblebee’s cool, the deceptacons are rad/imposing, the robot disguised as a hot blonde lady was really hot. But overall I was underwhelmed by the whole robot thing, because that was essentially the whole movie. Just BOOM! look at this! BAMMMM Look at that! Which is cool i guess. But I like people in my movies, people who I believe are people, and Shia and Hot mama dukes are not those people. Actually nah, its not them, its the retarded writers, this shit was straight Teen Disney mixed wit like a raunchy 80’s comedy (not a great mix). It was goofy (Pun intended)

This film had more special effects than real effects…Like, Huh? I guess Micheal Bay can get away with shit like that because he’s rich and shit. And I did like the explosions, they were cool. I just can’t sit through 2 hours of the same fake explosion. Not with it.

Don’t waste time or money on it

Film-O-Pinions: Big Fan

Just really unsettling. Patton Oswald plays a big fat loser giants fan, which is cool cause he goes to the games every week and reps real hard. Him and his boy only chill in the parking lot tho, kinda weird, but still they rep. Patton (called Paul in the movie) even calls in to a fucking radio show and spits some serious written G-Men Praise. It’s kinda badass.

He also has a real life though, wherein he is a loser parking lot attendant (ironic?), brother to a one-upping douchebag, and son to a very familiar mother (with whom he lives). It’s rough, as shown in a scene where he goes to his brother’s firm-opening party (complete with an awesomely realistic fake Law Firm commercial), things get awkward. He does, however, always has the second life to fall back on which he does with ease and confidence. Loveable scumbag, Kevin Corrigan (dude from The Departed and Grounded for life) accompanies him on his trips to the games.

Things get really rough later on when he runs into (liberal use of that term) his christ, Quantrell Bishop, QB of the motherfuckin’ fake Giants! Like a creep, Patton stalks him out, follows him to strip club, and insanity ensues. Shit gets seriously crazy in second half. Kinda like Taxi Driver with a comic streak. Good Stuff, but I still feel weird that i like/identified with it.

Also Mike Rappaports in it. That dude’s a champ.

See it (if you’re broke especially)